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Someone out there
Must be "deadly" at Scrabble..
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN :
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLERLeave a comment:
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Morris,
on his deathbed, knowing the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his
daughter and his 2 sons. So, he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the
Beverly Hills houses." Sybil, you take the apartments over in Los Angeles
Plaza ." Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center ." Sarah,
my dearest wife, please take all of the residential buildings
downtown."
The nurse is completely blown away by
all this, and as Morris slips away, she says, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband
must have been a very hard-working man to have accumulated all this
property."
Sara replies, "What property?
The asshole had a paper route!"Leave a comment:
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Great ones FF ! I guess I never listened to my mom, I don't talk to her either.Leave a comment:
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1 . My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM..
� W ill you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10.My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11.My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12.My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13.My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15.My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16.My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18.My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way."
19.My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20.My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23.My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24.My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25.My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"
Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~ My personal all-time favorite!!
My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"Leave a comment:
Leave a comment: