And now for some Humor

[gdesmo]

Although I was a straight A student many decades ago, this time it's C's across the board ! Good one Wolfie !!!

[gdesmo]

So funny, but I'm sort of surprised none of the bystanders were doing very much to point them out ! Lets see if Bung's gives you a hard time for going to Farcebook !

[Father Fuzzy]

actual detroit bank robbery

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v...type=2&theater

[Hooded]

Funny stuff wolfy
I guess I'm a real man at least.

[wolfslayer1]

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from
town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy
tent?" And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load - but simply said,
"How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between
to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling
you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery
made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the
drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all
the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was
called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language
to transmit ideas and pictures: Hebrew To The People (HTTP)

But this success did arouse envy.

A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to
siphon off some of Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested
and prosecuted for insider trading.

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly
take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican
Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the
deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going
to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off
every drum maker in the land. And he did insist on drums to be made that
would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

Lo, Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by
others!" And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it
came to be known, he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO,"
said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid
(GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything(GOOGLE)

And that is how it all began.....................


.................................................. ................


This is a test for men only,and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,women will also benefit by reviewing them so that they get to understand men and thereby enrich their own lives.

------------------------------------------------------------
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire earth.

You decide to:

A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together.

What do you say?

A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school.

Your first question to her is:

A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names here, but this would be his wife, is quietly trying to discard his underwear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions

[gdesmo]

That's hilarious ! Send me some plane tickets, would be happy to do it ! lol

[Father Fuzzy]

I need a new plumber

[Hooded]

Haha , good info FF

[Father Fuzzy]

Thought I should share this Good medical advice 1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day. 2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body. 3. F***ing refreshes you. 4. After F***ing, don’t eat too much; go for more liquids. 5. Try f***ing in bed 'cause it can save you valuable energy. 6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels. SO, REMEMBER . Fasting is good for your health and may God cleanse your dirty mind...

[gdesmo]

Mmmmmm ! Frosted Flakes, go Toni go!

[Father Fuzzy]

hahaha thats GERRRRRRRREEEAAAAT!

[doom]

At the Mtl Comicon, This guy made my day!

[gdesmo]

Ha ha ! Some good ones there FF.

[Father Fuzzy]

Few one Liners

A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants
come to America so that they can see their own doctor.

I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller. Apparently, "A
meal for two with a hairy view", is not the way to call out
number '69'.

I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. . . . It
makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them,
they said it would be just like winning the lottery!
I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off and to my
horror, we had six matching balls!

A Muslim has died while training to be a skydiver. The BNP
School of Diving said they had no idea why his snorkel and
flippers did not open.

Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its
considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a
man its $ 2.50/min (charges may vary).

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu
from tins of ham, just delete it. It's Spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me
if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds
every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.

[gdesmo]

Ha ha ! Coming in the future, I'll be gone though. Good one Daz !