And now for some Humor

[DazMode]

LOL... I pass on this meal.

[Father Fuzzy]

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference

What is the difference between these two words... COMPLETE and FINISHED.

In a recent linguistic competition held in Toronto, attended by supposedly the best in the world, a Newfoundlander, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED

in a way that is easy to understand?

Some people say there is NO difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer.:-

When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED..... AND when the right

one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!

He won a trip to travel the world in style and a case of 25 year old Scotch.

[gdesmo]

Ha Ha ! Good one FF.

[DazMode]

All true!

[DazMode]

[DazMode]

[Hooded]

LOL good ones

[gdesmo]

Excellent Sir !

[Akira749]

Goodbye To The Normals is excellent!!!!

[Father Fuzzy]

sweet ones Daz

[Father Fuzzy]

1 . My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM..
� W ill you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11.My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."


12.My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13.My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"


15.My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16.My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18.My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way."

19.My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20.My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23.My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:

25.My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!
But, there is one missing from this list~~ My personal all-time favorite!!

My mother taught me about CHOICE.
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

[gdesmo]

Great ones FF ! I guess I never listened to my mom, I don't talk to her either.

[Hooded]

LOL
Mother always knows best.

[Father Fuzzy]

Morris,
on his deathbed, knowing the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his
daughter and his 2 sons. So, he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the
Beverly Hills houses." Sybil, you take the apartments over in Los Angeles
Plaza ." Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center ." Sarah,
my dearest wife, please take all of the residential buildings
downtown."

The nurse is completely blown away by
all this, and as Morris slips away, she says, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband
must have been a very hard-working man to have accumulated all this
property."

Sara replies, "What property?
The asshole had a paper route!"

[gdesmo]

Ha ha !