And now for some Humor

[gdesmo]

That's a keeper FF !

[wolfslayer1]

Two guys are drinking in a bar.

One says, "Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Aw crap..," says his friend, "and I just joined the Rotary Club!"

.........................................

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right
thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red
light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in
frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,
dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up
into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to
exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted,
photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a
policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back
to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her
personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind
your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front
of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the "What Would Jesus
Do" bumper sticker, the "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "Follow Me
to Sunday-School" bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish
emblem on the trunk, naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car."

........................................

An Indian falls asleep for 100 years. He wakes up, and is told "For you, there's some Good News, some Bad News, and some Really Great News."
"First, the Good News: the Indians got lawyers, and sued to get the country back, and they won."


"What's the Bad News?" He inquired.

"The Lawyers took most of it for fees." Was the answer

"Wait a minute," the Indian asked, "What about the Really Great News?"





"Lawyers taste just like buffalo !!!!!!!!!

..............................................

Two Tennessee rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.




They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole;
I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."

The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.

As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"

The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

The old farmer said, "That's impossible.. I had him chained to a transmission!"

.............................................

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

[CdnGhost]

worst Mod ever....

thats awesome!

[Father Fuzzy]

good ones WS

[gdesmo]

Ha Ha !

[CdnGhost]

Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6

Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. They can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
The hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 3

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Awesome!

[bungwirez]

[gdesmo]

Bahahahaha ! That's frikkin hilarious !!!

[gdesmo]

thats awesome!

Damn, somebody saw my first mod ever !

[bungwirez]

[gdesmo]

Ha Ha ! Fear me ! I'm a water and coffee drinker, had I think about 20-25 ounces of liquor since 1991 and not one beer. I'm designated driver at a bar in Newmarket for New Years Eve or as I would say dummy driver. Cause I drive a bunch of dummies around ! Cops love to see it though and are very happy.

[gdesmo]

True story > Friend of mine was looking for a rear tailight for his Ducati MC. So I sent him this image >>> I almost bust a gut while I was sending it.

[Father Fuzzy]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=750_1361955514

[gdesmo]

Oh, that's sick ! :o

[bungwirez]

many many layers of awesome sauce