And now for some Humor

[Father Fuzzy]

lol good one wolfslayer

[Hooded]

woot

[Father Fuzzy]

Socially Unacceptable Humor


I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa !


A new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the latest bomber-jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people porn, you sick bastard.

The Red Cross knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

[snef]

mouhahahahah nice FF

[bungwirez]

another classic from the kids...



...reportedly Mom is actually shoveling snow.

[gdesmo]

So funny ! All of them.

[MRDcanadian]

good one FF

[Neo182]

another classic from the kids...



...reportedly Mom is actually shoveling snow.

Rofl

[Father Fuzzy]

thats a good one

[wolfslayer1]

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."

.................................................. ........

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with. The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest
level of professionalism.

The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister." When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses".

.................................................. ...

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.



Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."



Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."



Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King.."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.



When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bit@#s would keep their mouths shut!"



The teacher turns around: "WHO SAID THAT?"


Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

.................................................. ..............


Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.


She asked me if I liked breasts or legs.


I told her what I really liked was a shaved sna*%^.


Apparently I'm no longer welcome at KFC.

[gdesmo]

Ha ha ha ! KFC is a riot !

[bungwirez]

Ha ha ha ! KFC is a riot !

Indeed...

[Father Fuzzy]

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM 100% FOR HIS WIT!!!






Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * HIS LAST BATTLE


Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE PAGE


Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * LIQUID



Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * MARRIAGE

Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * EXAMS

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * LUNCH & DINNER

Q7. What looks like half an apple? * THE OTHER HALF

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? *
IT WILL SIMPLY BECOME WET.

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * NO PROBLEM; HE
SLEEPS AT NIGHT.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * YOU WILL NEVER
FIND AN ELEPHANT THAT HAS ONLY ONE HAND..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
Apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * VERY
LARGE HANDS


Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would
It take four men to build it? * NO TIME AT ALL; THE WALL IS ALREADY
BUILT.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
It? *ANY WAY YOU WANT; CONCRETE FLOORS ARE VERY HARD TO CRACK.

Spread the laughter; share the cheer. Let's be happy while we're here!

[gdesmo]

Ha ha ! Between you and Wolfie the smile factor is up there !

[Father Fuzzy]