And now for some Humor

[bungwirez]

yep. I'm feelin it.

[gdesmo]

Great one Wolf !!! Wish I was young like Bungie is !

[wolfslayer1]

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will You Marry Me?"
The girl said, "No!"

And the guy lived happily ever after;
and rode motorcycles
and went fishing and hunting
and played golf a lot
and drank beer, scotch and wine
and played with watercooling many computers
and had money in the bank
and played with r/c cars planes, helicopters and quad copters
and left the toilet seat up
and farted/belched whenever he wanted.

The End

[Hooded]

LOL
Every mans fairy tail

[wolfslayer1]

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident off the coast of Labrador, the man answered his door to find two grim-faced RCMP offices on the doorstep.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkins, but we have some information about your wife", said one of the officers."

Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkins exclaimed.

The officers looked At each other. One said.

"We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news.
Which would you like to hear first?

Fearing the worst, Wilkins said, "Give me the bad news first.
"The officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkins. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?

"The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Labrador lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her.
Haven't seen lobsters like that since the '60s and we feel you are entitled to share in the catch.

Stunned, Wilkins demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?

The trooper replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

.................................................. ..................


Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge??;

"Yes??;

"We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.?;

"Have you arrested the woman??;

"No sir. The floor is still wet."

[gdesmo]

Ha ha ! Good ones Wolfie !

[wolfslayer1]

No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, We've got to give it back.

Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?"

Sally said; "No."

Jerry said; "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

Sally said; " Don't believe him, he's getting senile"

The police turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said: "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Jerry said; "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said: "We're outta here!"

[MRDcanadian]

LOL, pretty good wolfslayer

[gdesmo]

Heh heh ! Always good to tell the truth !

[DazMode]

Ha-ha!

[wolfslayer1]

A tough old cowboy from West Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

.................................................. .......

Elderly Bart was at the county fair and they were offering helicopter rides. He wanted to go, never been in one but Maud his wife poo pooed the idea as expensive, after all fifty bucks is fifty bucks she said. The pilot overheard the conversation and offered to take them both up for free but it would cost them the fifty bucks if either one said anything.

They both agreed and off they went. The pilot put the 'copter through every manoeuvre he knew and some he guessed at. Not a sound from either.

After they landed the pilot turned to Bart and said he was impressed that there wasn't a word from either. Bart replied that he almost said something when Maud fell out during the stall turn but kept his peace.. "After all, fifty bucks is fifty bucks" he said.

.................................................. ......

One should not take the English language for granted.


A man took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow when it visited his home town.

”Ooh”, said the presenter. “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”

“Sticks?”, said the appraiser.

[Jeff R 1]

He He, Wolfslayer has a million of 'm !

Old Bart _ is that our Bart ?

[Bartacus]

That sure sounds like me, cheap bastard that I am!!

[wolfslayer1]

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.

I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

[Hooded]

Even that's too good for Bush